I don't know if I want to keep doing this journal.
I know I just started, but still. Before the journal, I was only occasionally thinking about food and stuff. Now? I'm almost always thinking about food and exercise and my body. I miss Tuesday when I wasn't worried about much of that. Sure, I had my moments and sure I looked in the mirror and sucked in my stomach a lot, but not quite as often in two months as I have in these two days.
I don't know, I'm not doing something right. I'm sure I'm going about this with the wrong attitude, but I don't know how else to look at this situation.
I don't know. Should I take a break? Is this journal doing more harm than good, so should I just stop?
I hate not knowing
Hi! I'm Christie, nice to meet you. I've stumbled onto this blog through Kay's if you were wondering.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's the downside of blogging - does that to me too. Now it's almost always stuck on my mind.
You do whatever you want sweetheart. You don't have to take a break, although I know some people doing that, but you can also blog weekly? Remember there's no obligation to blog everyday.
I'll be reading either way. I try to comment most of the time but I'm on holiday now till Monday, just stopping by to greet.
I hope you figure it all out soon. Take care of yourself dear!
Love,
Christie
Hi Cecile, I saw your friend commented on some of my posts so I thought I'd come see what you're all about : )
ReplyDeleteI've occasionally thought about this too since starting my blog, about how much more I think about food and exercise, but I've realized YOU need to discover what you're using it for.
I read back through your posts, and it seems you've never had anorexia, your dad just thought you were starving yourself? I'm not sure if that's the true story or I got confused reading, but I don't think you will become anorexic if you focus on your goals. All of us ED girls have reallllly fucked up minds , we don't just have anorexia/bulimia, we have Borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, and the list goes on....
If you focus on eating healthy and that's your goal, then you'll be fine.
I realized my blog isn't so much about losing weight for me (as it started to be) as it turned into a source of ventilation. A place where I can vent about my ED and the constant struggle it is for me to stay healthy because that is truly what I want to be. I was sick for too many years and I'm done. I relate to the girls that are still sick or the girls recovering because I went through that and am still going through that.
What I'm saying is, if you're scared of become anorexic or getting too worried about food, you should not follow blogs about it, you should find work out blogs, recipe blogs, blogs about being healthy, or maybe recovery ana blogs because those are often times about eating healthy and being happy with it.
I hope you find what you're looking for on here, and in life : )
I will follow your blog to see how you're doing if you decide to post again.
Thank you for your comments on my posts as well.
<3
Kay